IF THE FAMILY LACKS A COMMON CRISIS— THEN HIRE A WOLF TO HOWL!
President Brigham Young knew the value of hard work in preparing the Saints to build the kingdom of God. He counseled the pioneers when he said:
“Instead of searching after what the Lord is going to do for us, let us inquire what we can do for ourselves” (DBY, 293).
In my grandparents’ childhood, I believe they understood this teaching—as life was different. Days consisted of hard labor in the fields as families, and evenings looked a lot like what we now formally set aside as Family Home Evening on Monday nights in our LDS culture. Scriptures, singing, violin playing, and discussions—were their normal. They would leave the farm only twice a week—on Saturday for shopping and on Sunday for church. That was the pattern of living for most families in that era.
However beautiful this was, this was not the scene for our family in raising our children. It seemed as if our home was a boarding house where we just all met in the evening for rest and then to take an occasional meal—but where there was little family activity. “Friends, food, fun, and fantasy” were a big draw for my children; away from parental supervision. My husband was also gone most evenings with a second job and I was left to most of the parenting. We rarely saw each other as a family and even though I homeschooled it just seemed I was always competing with the fast pace of life and distractions that took my children’s attention and constantly were dividing us all.
WE HIRED A WOLF
One of the great influences that unified families in prior times was the experience of working together—such as taming the wilderness, clearing the land, or establishing a family business. However, living in the city and on top of neighbors on our postage stamp size lot—did not give us many opportunities for “taming or clearing.” I knew the value of a family working was something we needed to do to pull our family together, including the next generation. This was something we were lacking, and it weighed heavily on my mind. Up until this point, we had never learned how to work together or even how to begin until it was mentioned.
“If the family lacks a common crisis, hire a wolf to howl at the door.”
“A common crisis?” This was a brilliant idea and exactly what we needed —a common project that brought us closer together and stirred us to think differently. After being given inspiration, we “hired our wolf” by moving to a small rural town. This was the answer to learning how to “require for ourselves”— by forcing us to work on a home that needed some attention, and land where we could labor. We decided that to save our family we needed more space, fewer neighbors, and a way to come together—where everyone was learning the same skills and contributing to something greater.
OUR FIRST PROJECTS
After making this decision and shortly moving three months later to the town of Manti, Utah we shortly began work as a family. Again, we turned to Brigham Young for our ideas on what we should do when he taught:
Let the people build good houses, plant good vineyards and orchards, make good roads, build beautiful cities in which may be found magnificent edifices for the convenience of the public, handsome streets skirted with shade trees, fountains of water, crystal streams, and every tree, shrub and flower that will flourish in this climate, to make our mountain home a paradise and our hearts wells of gratitude to the God of Joseph, enjoying it all with thankful hearts, saying constantly, “not mine but thy will be done, O Father” (DBY, 302).
In applying this teaching in the first year let alone, we painted the entire outside of the house, planted large perennial gardens, a food forest, hauled woodchips, and built and repaired many things together. We had to learn how to solve wild chicken invasions, deer forging, and many other “wolf” activities that kept our family working together constantly.
WE LEARNED THE VALUE OF HARD WORK
I honestly loved “hiring the wolf”—moving out of the city and leaving so many distractions behind. It shook us out of our comfort zones and caused us to start moving again. Being new to the town and not knowing anyone really forced us to turn towards each other for companionship. We also were learning how vital it was to the family to work and come together. We learned how to communicate, and became more disciplined. We learned more about God’s laws and how to apply them even outdoors. We even learned that working together was fun, but most of all as Brigham Young had said it had helped us to stop outsourcing our family and relying on the Lord to just give us what we needed, but forced us to think about how we could do things for ourselves and be more prepared. We learned the value of hard work.
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