ARE YOU EQUALLY YOKED?

Most of us grew up dreaming of Prince Charming—riding in on a white horse, sweeping us off our feet, maybe even singing us a love song under the stars. It’s sweet to dream. We imagine what he’ll look like, what we’ll name our future kids, and how many we’ll have. It’s all very picture-perfect in our minds.

But as magical as that sounds, God’s plan for marriage isn’t based on charm or fairytales. It’s based on truth.

Scripture says it best in 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

Being “equally yoked” means being aligned—pulling in the same direction, with shared purpose, faith, and devotion. Think of it like two oxen yoked together: they need to be similar in strength and stature to work well. If one is weaker or shorter, the job becomes messy, slow, or even harmful.

Now apply that to dating. How do you really know if someone is equally yoked with you? It goes far deeper than sharing hobbies or having fun together. The real questions are about values, priorities, and purpose. Are your lives pointed in the same direction? Are your standards aligned? Do you share a vision for what matters most—faith, family, and the kind of home you want to build?

Being equally yoked means choosing someone who not only strengthens your strengths but will compliment you where you are weak. It’s about finding a partner who lifts you closer to Jesus Christ, challenges you to grow, and walks beside you in both purpose and love.

We’ve gathered some intentional questions to help you figure that out—tailored to Latter-day Saint standards and inspired by relationship resources we trust. Use them as conversation starters while you’re dating or in a courtship phase.

And if you’ve got a few questions of your own—please share them with us!

1. Odd’s and End’s

1. What are your favorite sources for news?
2. What are your interests, hobbies, and talents?
3. What are your income-producing (vocational) skills?
4. What is your attitude toward family (home) business?
5. How do sports play out in your life? Are they hobbies, or a lifestyle? Do you feel you are balanced or have they become an idol?
6. What do you tend to do in your spare time?
7. What is your involvement in sports? Do you participate, attend games, or watch it on TV? To what extent? What sports do you like? Is it an idol or is it something you could give up if God asked?
8. What is the role of psychology in the life of a Christian?
9. Do you prefer to live in the city, suburbs, town, country; farm, seaside, mountains, or desert? Why?
10. Describe a typical weekday in your life from start to finish.
11. Describe a typical Saturday in your life from start to finish.
12. What books or media have most shaped who you are, and which favorites do you still return to today (outside of the scriptures)?
13. What films have been influential?
14. What is your preference for facial hair, or hair length?
15. What is your attitude toward pets? Indoor? Outdoor?

2. World Views

1. Are you a liberal, or a conservative (favoring limited government, individual responsibility, family values, religious freedom, and being cautious about social or moral changes that contradict biblical/prophetic teachings. Protecting the Constitution, defending the traditional family, and opposing ideologies like socialism or Marxism.
2. Do you believe the forefathers of this country were inspired?
3. What do you think the Founding Fathers would say about how children are being educated today—especially when it comes to the Bible being left out of schools?
4. If the Founding Fathers could walk into a modern classroom, what do you think would shock them most?
5. How do you feel about the idea that true freedom depends on children being taught both history and scripture together?
6. If you had the power to shape education today, how would you include faith, morality, and scripture in it—like the Founding Fathers did?
7. Do you think it’s possible to raise strong, virtuous children without the Bible being central in their learning?
8. How do you want education to look in your future home—public, private, homeschool, a mix?
9. Do you think schools can really be “neutral,” or do they always teach some kind of worldview?
10. What role do you think parents (not just schools) should play in teaching children truth and values?
11. What role does a father and mother have in educating children?

3. Personal Habits

1. What are your thoughts on alternative medicine?
2. What are your beliefs regarding diet? Are your eating habits disciplined? Do you have any food dislikes? Are you a vegetarian, vegan, plant-based or whole-foods?
3. How obedient are you to the Word of Wisdom? Do you believe it is a list of suggestions or a command?
4. Do you have any physical or mental disabilities or diseases? Any allergies? Prior or current health problems? What is your opinion on mental health counseling? 
5. Are your spending habits disciplined? Do you tithe? What is your view of debt?
6. How would you describe your work ethic? Do you have a high standard of excellence? Do you tend to be either slothful or a workaholic? How many hours per week do you work?
7. What is your discipline in studying?
8. What are your habits regarding sleeping? Are you lethargic? Are your sleep habits irregular?
9. Do you follow a regular schedule? Are you organized?
10. Would you consider yourself neat or messy?
11. What is your level of personal cleanliness and hygiene?
12. What does cleanliness mean to you?
13. Do you have any personal habits that might annoy others?

3. Moral Standards

1. Describe your standard of modesty?
2. What are your views on public swimming?
3. Do you use offensive language?
4. Where do you stand on evolution?
5. Where do you stand on celebrating Halloween?
6. Do you watch television, R-rated movies? PG-rated movies? What were the last five movies you watched?
7. What kind of music do you prefer? What kind of music would you find offensive?
8. Do you currently use any type of drugs? Have you in your past? If so, explain the extent and the circumstances.
9. What is your view point on pharmaceutical drugs/prescription’s?
10. What is your view point of vaccines?
11. Do you have any financial debt? If so, explain the extent and the circumstances. What financial principles do you live by? Do you have any savings currently?
12. Have you ever been in trouble with the law? If so, explain the extent and the circumstances.
13. What tendencies do you have toward prejudice or racism?
14. Have you ever had periods of rebellion?  If so, explain the extent and the circumstances.  Are there any unsettled issues with your parents?

4. Calling & Purpose

1. What role does serving others play in your life right now?
2. How do you balance personal dreams with submitting to God’s will?
3. How do you see marriage as part of God’s kingdom work?
4. Can you describe how you intend to use your interests, experiences, skills, and talents to serve and glorify God?
5. What do you feel that God has asked you to do? What is your mission? A man must have this in order for a wife to submit before marriage. If you have not had your call, do you feel it is an important thing to do before furthering a relationship?
6. What role would your wife and children play in your life purpose?
7. What role would your job/career play in your life purpose?
8. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In 20 years?
9. Where do you see yourself spiritually in 10 years? In 20 years?
10. When the Lord calls you home, how would you like people to remember you? What is your legacy you want to pass down to your family?

5. Spiritual Life

1. What sins or struggles has God already redeemed in your life, and how has that shaped your character?
2. When you think of holiness in everyday life, what comes to mind?When was a time God really tested your faith, and what did you learn from it?
3. How do you handle seasons of doubt or spiritual dryness?
4. What does “living out the Gospel daily” look like for you?
5. How do you hear God’s voice in your life?
6. What is your view of the Sabbath and the proper use of that day? What activities can children enjoy on the Sabbath?
7. What is your view on the celebration of Christmas, Easter, and the Holy Feasts?
8. How would those who know you well describe your personal character?
9. What are your habits with regard to Prayer, Bible, and Book of Mormon study?
10. What would you say is your spiritual gift(s)?
11. What are your strengths?
12. What is your father’s understanding of religion? How would you describe your father’s personal character?
13. What is your mother’s understanding of religion? How would you describe your mother’s personal character?
14. Recognizing we are all imperfect, in what one or two areas do you think God wants you to improve most?
15. Do you have a teachable spirit? Can you cite any examples?
16. When did you really start to seek the Lord?
17. What do you believe about sin? Have you had a remission of sins?
18. Have you ever been exposed to pornography? If so, explain the extent and the circumstances. What are the fruits of your repentance and nature being changed?
19. Have you ever been exposed to homosexuality? If so, explain the extent and the circumstances.
20. Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth?
21. What is your heart towards those who are suffering spiritually? What do you believe is your duty?
22. What are things you see as God’s blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?
23. What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today–the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?
24. What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?
25. Share your testimony of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young
26. How important is it to you to center your life on the teachings of the prophet Joseph Smith as the Revealer of Jesus Christ?
27. What is your understanding on the New and Everlasting Covenant?
28. What is your testimony on Plural marriage?
29. What’s the toughest part of our faith for you?
30. What’s the best part of your faith for you?

6. Family & Relationships

1. How did your family’s faith shape your view of God, and what do you want to carry forward (or do differently) in your own family?
2. What does being a spiritual leader as a man mean to you?
3. What does a helmeet look like as a wife?
4. How do you envision raising children to love the Lord in today’s world?
5. What does forgiveness look like to you in relationships?Describe your relationship with your father? Was (is) it honoring? Was (is) it obedient? Give examples
6. Describe your relationship with your mother? Was (is) it honoring? Was (is) it obedient? Give examples
7. How transparent are you in your communication with your parents and siblings?
8. How many siblings do you have? What are their names, ages, and cities of residence? Can you describe your relationship with each of your siblings?
9. What do you think about your family? Are you good friends?
10. Can you describe your relationship with your grandparents?
11. Can you describe your relationship with your friends? Have you ever been peer-dependent? How did you resist this?
12. Are you consistently faithful in fulfilling your commitments? Give examples.
13. Do you show a regular willingness to serve others? In what ways?
14. In what ways is self-centeredness expressed in your life?
15. How do you relate to authority in your life? With your father, leaders and God?
16. Have you ever had to deal with a broken relationship? If so, please provide the details of that relationship, how long ago, the situation, and how did you handle it?
17. What do you think you’ve learned from your past relationships?
18. Are there any mistakes you feel you’ve grown from in past relationships?
19. How do you feel about discussing past relationships openly?
20. Are there any red flags you’re more aware of now than before?
21. How do you feel about staying friends with ex-partners?
22. What’s something you’d want to approach differently in a new relationship?
23. Are there any habits or patterns you’re actively working on?
24. What’s one positive thing a past relationship taught you?
25. How do you handle closure when a relationship ends?
26. Do you believe in reconnecting with past partners?
27. What’s something you’d avoid in a new relationship, based on your past?
28. What’s one thing you’re grateful for from past relationships?
29. How close are you to your family, and how often do you see them?
30. Do you think family involvement is essential in a relationship?
31. How do you feel about spending holidays with extended family?
32. What kind of relationship do you want your partner to have with your family?
33. How important is it to have friends outside the relationship?
34. How often do you catch up with your closest friends?
35. Do you enjoy social gatherings, or are you more of a homebody?
36. How do you handle conflicts within family or friend groups?
37. What’s your view on introducing a partner to family early on?
38. How important is it to you that your family likes your partner?
39. How much influence do you think family should have on life decisions?
40. What are your thoughts on family vacations or reunions?
41. What has been your prior experience with dating and romance? Have you ever kissed or been physically intimate in any way with a girl/woman? If so, explain the circumstances.
42. What does purity in a relationship mean to you?
43. What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?
44. Who are your closest friends?
45. Who have been the main disciples in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult–whenever.
46. Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?
47. You are the result of the influence of which people?
48. Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?
49. Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?
50. What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?
51. Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?
52. What do you see as my best character qualities?
53. What do you see as my weakest character qualities?
54. If “your” daughter/son were marrying “you,” what cautions would you have?
55. Do you have a personal timetable for marriage? If so, what is it?

7. Maritol Roles

1. Do you tend to be more of a leader or follower in life? Can you cite any examples?
2. What do you understand to be God’s purpose for marriage? 
3. In making decisions, what role does God’s word play?
4. What is your attitude toward women/men? What is their purpose?
5. What is your view on the role of a wife/husband? What is your view on submission?
6. What are your views on gender roles and equality in a relationship?
7. What are your views on women working outside the home?
8. What are your views concerning divorce and remarriage?
9. Can you tell me your thoughts on how a man should provide for a wife and family?
10. Can you tell me your thoughts on how a man should protect a wife and children? (How do you feel about guns?)
11. How do you see your future relationship with your in-laws working out?
12. What is your stand on abortion? What about in the case of rape? How does laying down one’s life play into this?
13. How do you relate to children? How often are you around children?
14. What are your thoughts regarding birth control and family planning?
15. Do you want children? How many children do you hope to have? 
16. What is your attitude toward adopting children?
17. What are your views on child training, including corporal punishment?
18. What are your thoughts on family worship? Besides church and temple attendance what would you like for your family?
19. When you fail someone, what actions do you take to rectify the situation?
20. Are you honest? Do you ever slant the truth for your own benefit?
21. How have you prepared yourself for marriage?
22. In what ways do you think you may need to grow before marriage?
23. What does “leave and cleave” mean to you? Are you prepared to put your wife first, before all others, including your parents? Give me an example of what this may look like to you.
24. How significant is it to be entrusted with the guardianship of their souls?
25. What are the duties of children?
26. What are the things you appreciate most about the way your parents raised you?
27. What would you do differently from your parents?
28. Who do you want your children to grow up to be?
29. What is the purpose of the family/what will be the purpose of your family?
30. How important is the upbringing of children in the grand scheme of things?
31. How would we model ourselves to our children? Our lifestyles, traits, personalities, things we laugh at, what we approve of, etc.
32. What type of education are you hoping that your future husband/wife will have?
33. List the five most important characteristics of a husband/wife.
34. List any characteristics or personality traits that would bother or irritate you in a husband/wife.

8. Communication

1. How comfortable are you with expressing your feelings?
2. Do you believe in addressing issues right away, or do you prefer to wait and cool off?
3. How do you usually express affection?
4. What’s your preferred way to receive feedback?
5. How comfortable are you with silence in conversations?
6. Do you like to talk things out, or do you prefer to think about it alone first?
7. How do you handle misunderstandings in a conversation?
8. How do you prefer to communicate (in person, by phone calls, or by text)?
9. How often do you check in with people you care about?
10. What’s one thing you wish people understood about the way you communicate?How do you usually handle disagreements in a relationship?
11. Do you believe in “taking a break” during a heated argument?
12. What’s your approach to conflict—talk it out or give it time?
13. How do you feel about compromise in a relationship?
14. How important is it to you to find a resolution immediately?
15. How do you feel about “agreeing to disagree” on certain issues?
16. What role do you believe forgiveness plays in conflict resolution?
17. How comfortable are you with admitting when you’re wrong?
18. What’s your biggest pet peeve in arguments?
19. Do you think there’s always a “winner” in disagreements?
20. What’s something that helps you feel heard in an argument?
21. Do you believe in following up on a discussion after some time has passed?
22. How do you handle situations where you strongly disagree with someone?
23. What kinds of situations cause you frustration? How do you respond?
24. What circumstances might make you impatient or angry? How do you handle anger? Have you ever been violent? Do you raise your voice when angry?

9. Dating

1. What would it look like for us to study the scriptures together?
2. How can we make prayer a regular part of our relationship?
3. How can we hold each other accountable spiritually without overstepping?
4. How do you picture worshiping and serving God as a couple?
5. What kind of activities help us grow in godly character together?
6. How can we encourage each other in areas where we struggle?
7. How do we practice forgiveness and grace when we disagree?
8. How can we set boundaries that protect purity and keep Christ at the center?
9. How could we serve in the church or community together?
10. What ways can we share the gospel as a couple, even while dating?
11. How can we start building habits of hospitality and kindness now that could carry into marriage?
12. What fun, wholesome activities can we do that also strengthen our faith?
13. How do we spend time together that glorifies God rather than distracts from Him?
14. How can we practice teamwork now that will prepare us for a future family?
15. What traditions could we begin that would keep Christ at the heart of our relationship?

10. Non-Negotiables

1. What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring marriage?
2. What do you believe are non-negotiable elements of a Christ-honoring family?