CHASING DEAD END CAUSES
Many of us will do anything to protect our children from ungodly influences. Some of us will give up everything to safeguard our families physically and spiritually in hopes to infuse them with godly virtues. We give up our lives for their momentary happiness all the while thinking that we are saving our children eternally.
However noble this may be, many times we are just—chasing ‘dead-end causes’ that breed only selfishness in the name of “love of learning” or a “mission-driven life” as “mentors,” “statesmen,” and “restorers.” Sooner than later we are left to wonder why our families fell apart, why everyone went their “own ways,” and why our home now reflects the Babylonian culture with shelves filled with antichrists, lustful music pounding, and incorrect ideologies of food, fun, and fantasy as the new god that infiltrated.
We were those parents. We chased “dead end” causes for 21 years. We bred all of these things and as a result, we lost one child spiritually, and another almost physically. Our family was dying.
MOVING TO UTAH
I never wanted to live in the state of Utah or raise my children in the Mormon culture. In the beginning years of our marriage, my husband and I and our small family had only lived here because of school—which soon came to an end and we moved elsewhere to finish Brad’s education. We were excited to leave the desert and move to the Northwest where I was born and raised. I desperately wanted to be near my family for their support while we raised our children and Brad continued his education.
Seven years later (and two more children), living in the beautiful city of Spokane, Washington—raising our family in the “mission” field—we were happy and it was ‘heaven.’ I was the children’s Primary President, and Brad was the Ward Clerk for our church. We had plenty of opportunities for service and growth. In fact, the ward was in so much need that Brad had 14 families to home teach, keeping him very busy. He had a very good job, and we loved the constant interactions with my family—my siblings played the role of aunties and uncles very well—until one June day, I heard a loud whisper “Go back to Utah,- for the family.”
I cried that day.
Utah? NO!! “It is ugly, hot, and everyone is a member of the church. It is harder to live the pure religion when there are so many shades of Mormonism, and how would I ever keep my five small children on the covenant path?” Standing at the car with the door open, my arguments filled the air. Boldly, I pleaded “Please God, do not send me back, I will lose them!”
My husband on the other hand was thrilled when I had this change of heart—as all of his family was slowly moving to Utah, from California. His parents had just finished an LDS proselytizing mission a few years earlier and had purchased a home in Provo, and a few of his siblings had settled in the area, too. I knew Brad’s desire was growing to be with his own family, so when I approached him about moving and if it was inspired, he instantly said “yes,” with no hesitation. He understood how nervous I was about returning since I had no relationship with his family—I was the odd duck—a homeschooler who desired a large family and sought alternative health ideas, etc. He understood that if we returned, I would have no support at all. Again, the tears came. The only thing I held onto in this adventure was the “assignment” which meant we were going for the family—I felt we were heading on a mission but would return home when it was finished.
On August 15th, 2004, we drove up to an A-frame cabin—our temporary home for the next three months—nestled in the trees of Brighton Canyon, and we began our hunt for a new place.
‘FOR’ THE FAMILY?
After our short retreat in cabin living, we located a home in Eagle Mountain, and the mission “for” the family began. At least my interpretation…
I first began my family efforts by building relationships with Brad’s family, attending weekly Sunday dinners, and vacationing with the entire family. I also reconnected with a sister I had living in Payson, immersing our children together often. The word ‘FOR’ led us down different roads in search of its meaning and implementation. I was determined to fulfill this assignment, and because of the demand, it drove me deeper into the Homeschool community.
During this time period, I became actively involved in classes, organizations, field trips, playgroups, and clubs and faithfully held monthly book discussions thinking I was truly helping my family (as my husband worked). We had special mentors for our children and although all these things were highly esteemed in the homeschool community, they were rooted in fun. In the world today, everything is centered around what is “fun.” What can we do for fun? How can we make this fun? What do you want to study?
We were giving our lives to something based upon what our children wanted, not what our family needed, or what God asked of us. We were slowly being converted to a false religion: One where individualized missions would supposedly lead to conversion.
“What you win them with is likely what you’ll win them to. If you win them with the Gospel, you’ll win them to the Gospel. If you win them with technique, programs, entertainment, and personal charisma, you might end up winning them to yourself and your methods (and you might not!), but it’s likely that they won’t be won to the Gospel first and foremost.” – Mark Dever, The Deliberate Church
I, however, did not find that this was the work in the name of the family that brought us from ‘another land.’ I began searching for more courses of action as I felt drawn to help not only my family but other families, too. This impression confirmed to me that I was not on the right path when our son, despite our sincere efforts in doing good things for our family, began rebelling. He felt he needed a little more “socialization,” and so we gave in to his pressures and enrolled him in a government school (not truly understanding their harmful agendas… quite yet) for only a few classes. However, I immediately knew this was the wrong choice. I did not have any idea what else to do, or how to rescue a son who was losing his testimony right in front of my eyes.
I felt betrayed. I had engaged in what I felt was a good cause, but now I was losing what was most important to me.
‘RESTORING’ THE FAMILY?
After much prayer, a friend in the homeschool circle we were a part of told us about a beautiful LDS private school she had just found for her family that was set up for “homeschool” parents—Kimber Academy. She spoke of its connection to W. Cleon Skousen and its patriotic flavor. So I attended a parent information night and loved what the Kimber Academy offered, and their focus on restoring “God, Family, and Country”—teaching from the perspective of the Founding Fathers. I just had to enroll my son and be a part of this restoring movement.
As I sat in my children’s classes (in which all 5 of them were now enrolled) day in and day out listening to Founding Father stories and hearing the Book of Mormon mixed in with their curriculum I could not help but think somehow “we had arrived.” This was definitely an opportunity in defending the family.
Within a short period, we became the owner of this academy and we devoted the next 10 years of our lives to building up the school—hoping to help others. During this time our children were able to travel the states teaching the Constitution with the Making of America seminars. They taught the needed steps in how to restore a Godly education, cleanse America, and what was needed to restore the family.
However great and noble these things all were, there was still something lacking. Was it me? Was it the academy? Was it the approach? Year after year I watched students enter the academy and awaken to a love of learning about their patriotic heritage, and the Book of Mormon but then go right back into the government system rejecting all the sacrifices their parents had made, and the teachings of the prophets they had just been taught. Many of the students who left, never had their hearts changed; they were not converted. Sometimes the students were on fire, but their parents did not support the changes that were happening with their children or were not even involved. I watched how the students would be immersed in a 4 hour day filled with the spirit, just to go home to the back-beat music, godless amusements, and captivating agendas in media that had a stronger hold on them than the Spirit. I noticed these homes were not set up to reflect what was being taught during the day. Sure, they could spout off Articles of the Constitution, show you where America went wrong in the educational system, and share thousands of facts about the Book of Mormon, but no one knew why this was all-important.
I struggled personally as we simultaneously learned more and more about the family and true principles found in the scriptures. We were learning that to really reach someone it takes the Gospel—which in return heals where no curriculum can, and cleanses where no program or steps are able to. No matter how many times “Checks and Balances” were taught it would do no good if our youth and families are plugged into the world around them and living far beneath holiness.
My conscience began to work on me—I needed to teach what I was learning. But how? I believed God still needed work from me, I believe I was helping, and I, with my husband, was dedicated to continuing on since we didn’t have any other idea of how to help families, except in this work. That all came to a halt one day when I had a life-changing conversation with James Stoddard that turned our family life upside down and gave us a new understanding of how to truly help the family.
CHASING THE WRONG CAUSE!
James and I were friends, as also was his daughter Hannah, who I considered a tutor as she mentored me for years about how to restore the Biblical family, who Joseph Smith was, and his role. While owning the Academy, many times James and Hannah had tried to tell us that our time spent running a private school was pointless and that we were involved in the incorrect cause if the family was truly the cause I needed to be in.
He went on to explain that “many people are wanting to restore the family and save the Constitution. Everyone starts the exact same way with pulling their children out of public school, implementing programs, signing up for co-ops, following a curriculum, attending classes, and so forth on these topics.” James’ admonition was to “forget the book of rules and first get to know who our General is and the orders that have been given.” I asked who the General was, and he explained that “it was Joseph Smith and that most people have no idea who he is, or even what his instructions were for a free people. We do not know who we are!”
We are losing our families and we are losing the freedom battles. We are not winning! So what are we missing? He taught “When Captain Moroni got up and spoke to the House of Israel here in America, he didn’t get up and started speaking about politics. He didn’t start teaching about the second amendment. He didn’t get up and say “Amalickiah stole our rights and we are angry about it so let’s go we’ve got to do something!” He didn’t even say “Mosiah gave us the Constitution and based it on the laws of God, so let’s go save it.”
No, instead he got up and said, “You are asleep! You are a remnant of Joseph and you have a duty to preserve your Liberty because you are a Josephite! You are bound by a covenant.” Captain Moroni said they would survive if they did their job!” James went on to say that “we needed to recognize that Joseph Smith IS the General. He said he was the greatest advocate of the Constitution. He is the greatest military leader. We need to understand why Joseph Smith is so important and why the Nephite bloodline is important if we are going to win this battle for the families.”
DEFENDING THE RESTORATION IS THE SOLUTION
FOR THE FAMILY
I then asked what it is I should be learning or doing, and on that Spring day in conversation with the Stoddard family, James spoke more boldly than normal.
He shared:
- The Book of Mormon is the only textbook needed
- You are Israel. You will need to know how Israel fits premortal and mortally and where Israel is currently.
- You will need to understand the physical gatherings that have happened already and future prophecies here in Utah.
- You will need to study Christian persecution and human rights.
- Joseph’s teachings on government and his role in latter-day prophecy regarding the Constitution.
- You will need to know what a REAL man looks like.
- You will need to be clean.
- And finally, you will need to restore the concept that it is families, and not individuals, who will save the Constitution. Families working together and united, led by fathers.
THEN, and ONLY THEN, after you have all eight points mastered would you EVER in a million years consider pulling out the Constitution? It is a waste of time in studying how to save it. We have been repeating the same application since the 80s and yet, we still are losing our freedoms. We need to be studying the why’s.
HE WAS RIGHT
James was right!! He was absolutely right! I felt the words cut through all the years of training we had received—all the hours we had devoted to helping our family or others awaken to saving the Constitution as the solution. Here was the actual solution for the family!! Here was the knowledge we had not received or been taught!
We learned that families need a true cause. Real change comes from studying Joseph Smith’s teachings and words, cleansing and purifying their lives: that will solve the problems in government and homes faster than a parenting book, classical curriculum, club, or enrolling children in Freedom or Liberty schools and programs. We need to be studying his sermons, his Patriarchal blessing, and his political platforms to know the prophet—and then act!
Joseph Smith is under attack. What is our family going to do about it, if this is the real cause? As my eyes were opened that day, we could also see that the message of the Restoration was disappearing and soon the voices of those who lived it and a life devoted to it would diminish. I felt we must bring my children, and now my grandchildren—along in this cause and not just learn and act for myself. That this would be a multi-generational message we would share.
A FAMILY MISSION!
The first thing we did after hearing the message began a serious study of Joseph Smith and his teachings, the private school we had owned for 10 years and had poured our heart and soul into—was sold within a few weeks. The Lord wasn’t done with us, and soon after, we felt inspired to move to Sanpete County to the city of Manti, which impressed upon our hearts after we took a quick road trip through the area. We felt the sacredness of the place and a call to be a part of its history. A place to create a new family vision of faithfulness.
We were blessed to secure a home—a home that I had only ever dreamt about! In this home situated on a half-acre, we have worked hard to cultivate the land, build perennial gardens, raise animals, and practice thrift and self-reliance—while learning to work together as a family.
We walked away from all that we knew, all the dead-end causes that had played an enormous part in the spiritual death of half of our children, and started rebuilding the family with the teachings we were learning by studying the individuals involved in the Restoration—learning that this same family also helped build the Kingdom of God during Jesus Christ’s time. Their mission is our mission, the same cause, the same covenant, the same work. It is a multi-generational work being passed down through the ages!
WHAT ABOUT UTAH?
I have loved defending the Restoration with my family. I have seen the joy in my home and in my children’s homes, as old traditions have been replaced by the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.
But what about Utah—or good ol’ Deseret? How does it tie into helping the family?
I have learned lately that I can not speak about Utah without feeling passionate and teary-eyed. However, this is only recently that these intense emotions have come. Last summer, we felt an urge to leave the Rocky Mountains for more land eastward. We wanted to leave the Mormon culture behind and go to work in the mission field once again, but this time taking what we had learned about the Restoration forward and outwards.
We began looking for a new state with much excitement. I have never been outside of the Rocky Mountains so it was thrilling to learn about new areas. It felt like we were free to go anywhere! As the time came to put our home up for sale another bold conversation from James Stoddard took place. As James lay in the hospital soon to pass on and leave the battlefield of this mortality his last words shared to us were “don’t let them go, it is about to start.”
What would start, why should we not go? Others had left, why should we not leave and continue working for the Joseph Smith Foundation, elsewhere? What did he know that we were missing? These dying words to us once again changed the course of our family as we began learning for ourselves just how significant Utah will be in the last scenes of this dispensation. That within these Rocky mountains—where now my grandchildren “hunt” fictional Lamanites and Nephites—once lived these ancestors whose stories and writings are etched in the side of the rocks telling us about their once-lived history.
Utah is the Restoration and from it stems all that was revealed by the prophet Joseph Smith, to Brigham Young. Utah is a place where the prophecy was, is, and will be fulfilled. This is where Christ will appear first.
They will raise up a posterity there, and the Latter-day Saints who dwell in these mountains will stand in the flesh until the coming of the Son of Man. The Son of Man will come to them while in the Rocky Mountains…I believe many of them will stand in the flesh when the Lord Jesus Christ visits the Zion of God here in the mountains of Israel.” (Wilford Woodruff April 26, 1834)
This is the cause that our family joined—gathering together to defend the Restoration—as a battle plan in fighting evil and saving the family!
2 Comments
Renee
Thank you for sharing your journey! Unfortunately it is too late for me. I have many regrets as I see the majority of my family living in Babylon. I pray for my family but that is all I can do at this point as my influence is useless. I am happy that you are helping so many families to understand. I once lived in Sanpete county, Illinois, Ohio, Missouri but am now in the state of Washington. I did things backwards from you. Blessings to you in the great work you are doing.
Julie
I am learning….it’s never too late!! Mothers still have an influence, and will for generations! They are watching us even outside of our home. I am so glad we are ‘new’ friends….love all that you are doing too!!! We got this, right? 🙂