RESCUING A SUICIDAL SON THROUGH MUSIC: WHEN THE DEVIL CAME TO VISIT

The year 2014 marked a year I will never forget, it was a year our family fell off the tracks completely when a certain visitor came knocking on our door.  Life up to this point seemed normal. We were an average family doing the normal things that other Mormon families were doing. We were strong in the faith, loyal to all the church programs, and had regular scripture reading, and family home evenings—okay, so we homeschooled which might not have been the norm— but you get the point. During this time period, we owned and operated a private LDS academy for homeschoolers. I thought by immersing ourselves in something good we would avoid some of the pitfalls and destruction of the family that others were going through. However, this was not true.

THE KNOCK ON THE DOOR

The knock came via a phone call when a sweet young girl decided to let me know about the suffering of one of my sons and what he was going through. She told me how he was cutting himself, how he wanted to die, and that she was scared for him. This came as a terrible hard blow because I was so unaware of it. How I could have been so naive— I do not know. However, the story does not stop there. At the same time, I had another son who came home early from his mission due to a leg injury and during his 9-month recovery began doubting his testimony. I had one child suffering physically and one child suffering spiritually. What were we to do as parents? What were the answers? My heart was breaking, and the torment of losing my children wreaked havoc on my soul and consumed me. I had no answers, I did not even know where to begin helping my precious boys (ages 17, and 19).

The world was telling us to enroll my son (who was wanting to end his life) in counseling and to use medication and drugs for his depression. I felt this was a wrong solution and wanted no part of it. I wanted answers that would repair, not band-aid everything all up. I knew this route would not be healing, nor was long-lasting as I had in my own youth been down a similar road and knew it all too well.

I knew the devil was thrilled to be visiting, he was making himself right at home in my misery. I wanted him to leave, and to leave permanently, and the only way I knew he would was if I used what God had put into place to relieve my son’s pain and torment (both of theirs), not a man-made, self-help program with words of affirmations, check charts and justification for lower laws. I needed something real!

The solution would come when an 18-year-old messaged me to meet with her and her father. 

CHANGE THE FAMILY CULTURE

I met her and her family at their home on Sunday. It was kind of a strange meeting without any small talk, or no meal to break the ice. Just scriptures opened ready to dive in and discuss. I had met this family 4 years prior on a couple of short occasions but no contact since; so really this was our first “official” meeting. We talked about the scriptures, Joseph Smith, and things pertaining to the doctrine of the family. The things they spoke about were like spring water to me. It was different, and yet so refreshing. I hungered for more after our departure, I wanted to know everything they knew. I was blessed later to receive an email with all the resources they spoke about and this began a journey and a powerful 8-year friendship. This young 18-year-old introduced me to the destructive culture families are facing and how we have been invaded by our traditions and beliefs that are unbiblical. She gave me the answers I was so desperately seeking to begin healing my home with! 

The first thing I needed to do was to awaken a “sleepy” husband who was not fulfilling the patriarchal role as he should have been. My husband worked two jobs– sometimes three, and never was home or engaged in what most of us were doing except for on Sundays. My friend suggested the way to wake him would be through correct music which in return would bring an abundance of the spirit. I did not think our music was off. I thought we were careful. We listened mostly to Country or Christian rock. It was at this moment that my own education began and I learned about music in a whole different way. I was introduced to the backbeat and what prophets had spoken about on this topic and had warned parents with. I was introduced to why Christian Rock was wrong and how it was harming my family. 

So began our work of purging the music out of our home. Without saying too many words in fear of my family revolting– I started playing from the playlist that was given to us.  I had it on just loud enough that one could hum to it, but low enough to not have it competing with the conversation. I started seeing instant results. Not only were there some hummers, but my husband started to think more about his sons and had a desire to help rather than let someone else work with them. Could music really be the answer? 

WHAT IS CORRECT MUSIC?

Let me pause here for a minute to share what I mean by correct music. 

It has been said that music has been corrupted by its beat and intensity and can dull the spiritual side of man. Many times we think to be careful of the lyrics, never paying attention to the beat or even repetitious sounds. We do not pay attention to vocal sounds musicians are using (yes even in the LDS culture) that are adding to the plague of pornography. “Correct music” is a void of this along with casual, sloppy, and unrefined music. It consists not only of lyrics that are praiseworthy but the sounds are noble.

Back to the beat—if you study history you will find stories of men that were hired to “destroy America.” These communist friends believed they could overtake America through the arts, education, music, media, and so forth (go study Frankfurt School yourself if you do not believe me). When it came to music they hired a Russian physiologist named Pavlov who discovered how the “conditioning” of a dog eventually led to his death would be the way they would captivate and take hostage the American people. The beat in music would create a condition that was in opposition to the regular heartbeat and cause a “trance” to take place. When the music was played it would cause the body to perform. Mix lyrics and a drilling beat and you have “conditioning” right before your eyes. And that is exactly what I was witnessing.

THE VISITOR RETURNS

One night, my now suicidal son walked in and I knew he had been with the “visitor” again. His eyes and countenance showed it. I was scared and knew I had to do something as this could be his last night if I did not intervene. I prayed to Heavenly Father for answers and was told to turn up the volume of the music to where no thought of the devil could interject as it’s only possible for someone to serve one master at a time. So following this inspiration I went to bed trusting my son would be okay. The next morning it was as if there was no sign of death at all. The demons that had possessed him were gone. He had light again!  We repeated this often on his very dark days and many times the speakers were placed on the vent just above his room for him to hear the music from upstairs could be heard as he slept.

These were very dark times for a parent and I never wish this upon anyone. Before it got better it did get worse. The trance this visitor had my son in was difficult to break. He was safe when he was at the home, but while away— he was in the devil’s grasp. There was one night he was on his way to take his life. He made the long drive up the canyon to do so and parked his car at the edge with full intention. He tells the story of how he felt he had no control over himself and that something had overtaken him. While in the car he was playing the devil’s music that repeatedly told him to just “jump” hammering this message into him with intensity. At this same time, my other son felt an urgency to go and find his brother. The scene he came upon was frightful— with the car facing the cliff one wheel inches near the edge and his brother in a deep stupor (demonic possession).  He quickly jumped into the car and rescued this boy bringing him safely home. However, the captivity continued as our son then ran away from home. No one knew where he was for days. All I could think of was that he was in that canyon dead. Search and rescue had been sent to find him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Oh, how my heart was breaking. The word was given that he had run off to Texas with the idea of never coming back. After a few days of traveling, his car had broken down and was left on the side of the road. With a friend’s help, he returned home. Broken, humbled, and with a teachable heart.

WE TRY AGAIN

Gently without flipping the boat, we turned the music playlist back on, but this time with humility he asked questions, and guess what, we had answers! My husband during this time had quit his 2nd job so he could be home with our sons to repair relationships. We talked about the night in the canyon and he shared with us about the music he had been listening to then and for quite some time. I felt blessed as a mom to have been able at that moment to teach him about the power of music, the beat, and what we were learning, and how we as a family had just dumped it all, and that we wanted to have no power of the devil and only the spirit stronger in our home. 

The recovery took three months of playing the best of the best music 24 hours a day. During this time our son opened up and shared his slow death with music, the trapped circumstances he was in, and how he could not break free from it. We worked hard to help him break the addiction, prayed with him, and introduced him to other types of music. His appetite soon changed for the kind of music that lifted his thoughts. He was becoming healthier and healthier and his desire for God returned.

While it was hard to see many of his friends stay on the destructive path of counseling and meds, my son had broken free of the flaxen cords. The Devil was gone. The visitor had left.

A WARNING

Seven months later he decided it was time to move out and with his move, he would be making a long trip and wanted music. This is when God stepped in to help keep this boy on track. He had bought a new car, and the radio which worked at the time of purchase mysteriously stopped working. So he replaced it with a new radio only for it not to work either as much as he tried. As an alternative, he was given an MP3 filled with music for his trip—which he accidentally ran over a second MP3 was given to him by a friend—made it safely inside his car. However, as he was driving home from a goodbye party, a balloon that had been given to him was irritating, and as he rolled the window down to let it go, the balloon grabbed hold of the MP3 and took it up and out of the car. 

He drove the trip without music. He had learned his lesson and how God felt about music for him. He hasn’t touched it since.

MULTI-GENERATIONAL BLESSINGS

We learned valuable lessons during this time with this visitor. This will be a time we will never forget as God was gutting out our home with those idols we love and the traditions we worshipped. We learned how we were being disobedient to God’s standard for music, and we learned how there is to be an order established in the home—even with parental roles. Most teenage rebellions and testimonies lost are caused by these two things. The culture—even Mormon culture—says differently. We are told by our leaders it is okay to play backbeat music at stake dances even after we’ve been warned, and that it is very normal to have teens rebelling. 

Families have to make a choice— do we follow the pattern of the world or do we follow what was set forth in the scriptures as a protection for the family? For my family, we chose scriptures to heal with and it worked and the fruits of it have multiplied generationally. Not only has our household changed its music, but all of my children, but one, and the grandchildren are being taught correctly. And as part of their education, they are learning what true Christianity really means, and how to stand up to the devil when he comes knocking.