THE BATTLE FOR THE HOME

There is a battle raging around us all the time, it is so constant that we don’t even see it as a battle anymore.  This is the battle for the home and family.  It is a battle that has been raging since the dawn of time and will continue to rage on until the ultimate victory has been gained.  Which side of this battle are you on?  Or are you just trying to be a spectator as others more qualified, with a better understanding fight for you?  If you are like I was, sitting watching others battle because you feel they are more well-versed than you, or that they have a better grasp on the topic,  then it’s time we realize that this is one of Satan’s best tactics – to make sure there aren’t enough people fighting for the Lord.  He distracts us and makes us feel like we can’t fight because we don’t know enough yet or feel unworthy because we aren’t perfectly living the ideals that we are striving for.  I want to issue a call to arms to all the men out there, join me in taking back your family.

As I have recently been studying the role of fathers in creating a righteous posterity, and a multigenerational legacy, I realized how far short I was coming, not only that but how much of my time I spent ignoring the blessings that were right under my nose.  I would rather watch sports and would have one of our kids sit with me, and say, “it is fine we are doing this together,” when in reality I was completely focused on the game, or on the highlights and completely forgot that my kids were there.  I would rather hide away with my phone so I could catch the latest news or sports highlights, then get on the floor and read, or play with my kids.  I realized that I had a problem, and needed to change.  Have I been perfect at this now, absolutely not, I still find myself thinking about how I can sneak away for some quiet time by myself with no children around?  I had created this idea that when I was home everyone should be happy and get along and that there should be no fighting or yelling, but when I got home, I was the one that was yelling and causing the contention in my house.  I was the one that was creating chaos, and my children were following my poor example.  I realized that there needed to be a large change in me if I was ever going to affect a large change in my children.

I have gone through this cycle a couple of times, and usually, I do well for a month or two, then it seems to come right back, I drop my guard and forget everything I have learned because I just want to be amused, I want to come home from work and turn my brain off.  This last time, I realized I had fallen into it again, and decided that I needed to do a major overhaul and spend a lot more of my time in prayer and study, in learning what it is to be a real father, a true representative of our Heavenly Father.  I realized that I could no longer sit around and let others take care of my children for me, but that I needed to involve myself in their everyday life.  I needed to be the one to teach them to love the scriptures, I needed to be the one to lead family discussions, family prayers, and study.  I could no longer sit on the sideline.  While having these thoughts I was moved to action, and as I was moved to action it became clear how large the responsibility that is upon the father is, and it is a weight that will never be removed, even if we try to dull it with our amusements.  I realized that if I was to lead my family, I would need to be clean from all of my sins, and I continue to beg and plead with the Lord to make it so.  My mind has been opened to so many things, and I continue to see new responsibilities that a father has, that I had never considered.

The biggest one is the topic of schooling. I never thought much about it, we had decided to homeschool early on, and I was going to leave it up to my wife to decide how and what to teach.  I trusted that she would choose correctly and that I just wouldn’t need to worry about it.  Then I got a hard chastening by the spirit, which said, “You are going to try to pass your responsibility onto your wife, this can’t happen, you are to lead your family and lead your family you must.  The place to start is in their education, you set the vision, and communicate with your wife what to teach.  Don’t put it all on her.”  I was blown away, I thought, “I don’t have the time to worry about that, I can’t take time away from work to worry about their education, my wife will do a great job.”  I tried to argue with the Lord, and as so many before me and so many after will find out, you can’t win an argument with the Lord.  You can use all the logic you have in your arsenal, He will still win.  This led to me being humbled and chastened, had I really given my life to Him if I had why was I still trying to hold onto my pride and selfishness? Why was I not worried about others, especially those closest to me?  Was I really not concerned about my children’s life? Then I started listening to things to help me with what, where, when, why, and how to teach my children.  I started reading in my scriptures the roles of a father. I wanted to know everything I needed to do to lay my life down for my family, and give my life completely to the Lord.  I still fall far too short, but I am trying every day, to be worthy to fight for my family and to bless the lives of other families by sharing what I have learned.

Men, this is a call to arms, rise up, the battle is raging on, and many of us are sitting on the sidelines watching as our wives and children are taking the brunt of the attack.  We need to rise up and defend.  Prepare our defenses, and build our spiritual walls around our home, the enemy is in full attack, we need to be prepared to receive and drive them back.  Create places of refuge from the attacks of the world.  Learn where the battle lines are and prepare to defend them, and not only you, prepare your children and family to defend them as well.  We must work to restore the divine institution of the family.  This will begin when we as fathers will submit our all to the Father, just as His Son did.  We have a perfect example, that we just need to emulate, let’s submit our will to Him, and let Him lead our families through us.

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